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Overcoming the Power of Loneliness

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Janet Boynes

When something great has happened to us, we immediately want to share the excitement with those who are closest to us.

Sharing with others is one of life’s greatest gifts. No man is an island. Whether the news is good or bad, it is human nature to desire companionship in sharing the events of our lives. Of course, we could randomly just share intimate details with strangers.

Social media has made that a reality. However, it can never replace being able to share life with someone that we love and who wholeheartedly loves us back. It is so unfortunate that so many people are hurting because they feel they have no one to share with. They are battling loneliness. They feel that they are all by themselves, without emotional connections and support.

The need to connect with someone remains unsupported. This is not just a feeling that goes away. Loneliness takes power over individuals. It is a strong entity that speaks so loudly, it can cause us to act and think irrationally just because we don’t want to hear its loud and piercing cries.

We should first establish the fact that loneliness isn’t defined by the volume of people we have in our lives. Loneliness can easily enslave one that is married with children. It can blindly take us through our workday with tons of coworkers around.

Loneliness fictitiously displays a pleasant façade in the midst of our church brothers and sisters, while we remain unable to commit to fellowship. The battle with loneliness has more to do with being able to emotionally connect and intimately share details of our lives comfortably, without hypocrisy or judgment. The moment we believe we cannot do this with those that are near, we naturally shut down and withdraw.

It is a defense mechanism to keep us from rejection and hurt. We would rather deal with loneliness than feel that someone we love has no interest in what is important to us. We instantly protect our feelings and put up guards, not realizing that the boundaries we sometimes set are actually what separates us from others.

Loneliness is powerful. It can overtake our decisions and dominate the relationships we create and build. Many have resorted to unfamiliar means of finding company just to alleviate the depressive grip of feeling lonely.

Results from online dates, frequenting bars and clubs and various other activities don’t always yield favorable results. The vulnerable fall prey to abusive situations and others may try same-sex relationships. Others, unfortunately, cannot tolerate that longing and desire for companionship and will commit suicide because they see no other hope.

Beloved, although loneliness is a real stronghold to deal with, there is always hope in Christ. If you are lonely because the right person has not come along or the ones around you don’t understand your need for their emotional support, you do not have to let loneliness conquer you.

The enemy can use your lonely feelings to isolate you and plant negative thoughts to make you feel unloved and insecure. If that happens, immediately embrace God’s Word and receive His assurance that you are absolutely loved by God (He will never leave you or forsake you) and others as well. Don’t withdraw. Seek help from family members, pastors, friends, support groups and of course, professional counseling.

Don’t be afraid to share what you are feeling. Expose the hidden hurts before they take power over you. Remember our walk with Christ is never about what we see. It is always a walk of faith.

There will be times we just need to be alone, away from the crowds and pull of others. Then, there are times we just need to be able to communicate our thoughts and ideas to others. If we cannot feel confident to share with those around us, pray and ask God to send someone that will hear us from their heart.

Until then, pour out your heart to God. Give Him every detail of your life. Share the most intimate parts of you. He loves to hear whatever we need to say. In due time, He will guide you to those whom you can build intimate relationships with and even break down the barriers that have restricted your ability to share.

There is always hope, but sometimes it just takes us to take that first step to receive our healing and deliverance.

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Janet Boynes founded Janet Boynes Ministries in Maple Grove, Minnesota, in 2006. She has authored three books and challenges individuals and the church to reach out with a message of hope and restoration to the homosexual community. Her articles have been featured on the front cover of Charisma magazine, Called magazine, Power for LivingBound magazine and many more publications. Called out of the lesbian lifestyle, her life is proof that the love of God has the power to heal and restore the brokenness in our lives. Janet travels the U.S. and overseas and shares her story of redemption. Her desire is to bring hope through the power of Jesus Christ.

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