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I’m Not Transphobic. I’m Not Hateful. I’m Just Honest

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J. Lee Grady

Many of us were shocked last week when The White House designated March 31 as a “Day of Transgender Visibility.” The timing of the proclamation was beyond insensitive, since President Biden’s announcement came just a few days after six people at a Christian school in Nashville were killed by Audrey Hale, a young woman who identified as a transgender man.

“Today, we show millions of transgender and nonbinary Americans that we see them, they belong and they should be treated with dignity and respect,” Biden said. “Their courage has given countless others strength, but no one should have to be brave just to be themselves.”

Biden’s message implied that Hale was the real victim. Never mind that six innocent people, including three nine year olds, are dead. In today’s America, we are expected to feel the most sympathy for an emotionally disturbed person who took multiple weapons into an elementary school with the intent to kill as many people as possible.

We’ve reached the point of cultural insanity. Up is down, wrong is right and evil is good. In today’s America, we side with criminals instead of crime victims. We value the rights of abortionists over unborn babies. And we fight to defend biological male athletes who pretend to be females over biological females who shouldn’t have to compete with men.

At the root of this madness is something called “affirmative care,” a philosophy developed by the counseling community. In decades past, gender confusion was known by its clinical term, “gender dysphoria.” It was considered mental illness. But counselors adapted a new approach that they considered more compassionate. Instead of putting a negative label on the disorder, psychologists decided to affirm a person’s gender preferences, even if they are delusional.

It works like this: Suppose someone who was born a biological male tells his counselor that he feels he is really a woman inwardly. The therapist doesn’t question the idea. Instead, the man is advised to go ahead and start dressing like a woman, since he “identifies” as female. “Go ahead and wear makeup and high heels,” the counselor says. “Go ahead and embrace a feminine identity. Adopt a female name and female pronouns and ask your family and friends to use your preferred identity”—even if you actually look like a man in a dress.

This bizarre practice is spreading like a pandemic in our schools today. Even elementary school teachers are promoting transgender ideology to impressionable first-graders. Kids who should be learning about phonics and long division are hearing about drag queens, oral sex, masturbation and what it means to be queer or non-binary. And school counselors are telling pre-teens that they can take puberty-blocking drugs or get “gender affirming” surgeries so boys can become girls and girls can become boys.

The most ironic part of this scenario is that if someone dares to question this madness, we are labeled “transphobic.” We are the bad guys. We are called hatemongers because we don’t show acceptance and compassion for people who aren’t happy with the gender they were born with.

Never mind that science tells us that a man who is castrated is still male, and a woman who undergoes a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy is still female. Never mind about x and y chromosomes. We are “hateful” if we don’t play along with this charade.

It all reminds me of the proverbial emperor who wore no clothes. The transgender parade is marching in full force, with all the colorful outfits, wigs, makeup, hormone injections and expensive surgeries, and we are expected to play along and wave rainbow flags to celebrate the “diversity.” But there’s one big problem: There’s nothing to celebrate, because transgender people are deeply unhappy with themselves, and no amount of surgeries, drugs, cosmetics or outfits can fix that.

Can we please be honest? Can we follow the science? We are betraying a generation by adopting this foolish logic. One day in the future, psychologists will be held financially liable for the emotional and medical abuse they have forced upon the transgender community.

I don’t hate transgender people. If someone who struggles with gender dysphoria asked for my advice, I would warn them that puberty blockers, hormone treatments, different pronouns or surgeries will not fill the void in their hearts or heal their emotional troubles. If I affirm the lies they believe, I’m not helping them. Being “nice” isn’t love.

Proverbs 15:32 says: “He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.” That is hard truth for a soft, squishy culture that wants to placate and soothe everybody without confronting the root problem. It’s not love to let a person do something harmful to themselves. It’s not love to affirm a person’s bad choices.

If we really love people who have gender confusion, we will show sincere concern, help them see scientific reality and ultimately point them to the healing that comes from a relationship with Jesus.

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J. Lee Grady was editor of Charisma for 11 years and now serves as senior contributing editor. He directs the Mordecai Project (themordecaiproject.org), an international ministry that protects women and girls from gender-based violence. His latest books are “Follow Me” and “Let’s Go Deeper” (Charisma House).

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J. Lee Grady is an author, award-winning journalist and ordained minister. He served as a news writer and magazine editor for many years before launching into full-time ministry.

Lee is the author of six books, including 10 Lies the Church Tells Women, 10 Lies Men Believe and Fearless Daughters of the Bible. His years at Charisma magazine also gave him a unique perspective of the Spirit-filled church and led him to write The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale and Set My Heart on Fire, which is a Bible study on the work of the Holy Spirit.


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